Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Married to a Cross Dresser- Q&A with Kim Rydick and Wife

Q&A with Kim Rydick

When did you first realize you were more comfortable in feminine clothing?                               

I don't remember the first time I thought about feminine clothing but I do remember having it around the house while I was a child. My mother is a creative person and a seamstress so I quite possibly picked up my love for fabrics and textures from her.

Dressing in women's clothes was a bit of an evolution for me. Lingerie in the bedroom was my first interest and I was well into my 30s before it felt comfortable enough to try it on.

What triggered this discovery?                   

My wife left me at home once a month during her regularly scheduled 'girl’s night out' with her friends. She enjoyed her time, drank a little wine and returned home after I had put our young daughters to bed. I would wait for her and we both knew we would have 'our time' together when she returned. Month after month, year after year, our event grew and I became bolder and more inventive with my 'preparation' in wait. It was probably about 3-4 years before lingerie became part of the interaction and I do remember feeling silly at first.

When did you start going out in public dressed en femme?              

Halloween 2011, I was fully dressed en femme for the first time. Starting weeks before, my wife and I had been picking out clothes and trying them on me at local thrift stores. The resulting outfit was very casual and kind of boring compared to my wardrobe now. In any case, I dressed and drove through a local fast food drive through while my wife and I giggled and commented throughout the event.

How often do you get to dress?

Lately, I dress once or twice a week as our oldest daughter has moved back home after graduating from college. Before that, I was dressing 4-5 times a week and free to come and go from our home.

 How long did you keep this to yourself and what made you want to tell your wife?                            

My wife knew from the moment I knew, or within a few hours anyway.

How did you approach telling your wife?           

Feminization for me was triggered by a blog entry authored by the wife of a married couple that we had been following online. The wife dressed her husband and took him to pump gas out of town. We read it, discussed it and I'm sure I couldn't stop mentioning it for some time.


What advice can you give to others that struggle with telling their significant others?

Start slow, carefully choosing what you will say or show her. Think carefully about what you say or do so hoping to entertain while enlighten. A giggle is the response you want, not shock. Show vulnerability and have compassion. Aggression is evil. Sympathy and respect are a must. She married a man and likely hasn't considered alternatives. Take time to decide a simple phrase or basic display. Give time to allow your partner to respond and if needed, ask that they take such time.

Chances are you have taken considerable time deciding what to say or do, give them the same to consider what you are sharing with them. Don't offer too much information, be very selective and hope that your spouse will want to know more. When the time comes for them to calmly ask questions, then they will be more likely to appreciate the honest answers. Take an approach that puts your spouse in control of labeling you as a cross dresser. Give her time to have you admit what you like about your secret. We are able accept conditions easier if we aren't forced to acknowledge they exist.

Q&A with Kim's wife, Alice:

What was your initial reaction to your husband’s news of wanting to cross dress?

Initially, my husband wore lingerie in the bedroom. He liked the sensual feel of the fabric and the kinkiness of wearing women's clothing. I didn't mind since it made our personal time more exciting for him, and therefore me as well.

How long did it take you to become accustomed to this new lifestyle?

Gradually he wore more female clothing more often. Since this took place gradually the adjustment was gradual as well. 

What has helped you become so accepting of Kim?

We have been married many years and we have both evolved as people and our marriage has evolved as well.  I love my husband and accept him as he is, even when he is Kim. I believe that she is part of him. He is accepting of me, as I am, also. This has been necessary to keeping our marriage viable and exciting. Kim has been a joint project and I have enjoyed helping her become fully confident in herself. 

You & Kim seem to have a great relationship, how do you manage to keep it so lively?

Embracing the evolving nature of our relationship and being willing to try anything new once in a while keeps things fresh and exciting.

What advice do you have for other spouses going through similar situations? 

Do your best to embrace the changes and work to incorporate both partner's needs and fantasies into your playtime. You may find that if you are not judgmental and are accepting instead, your relationship will be strengthened. Respectfulness is necessary for both parties - the wife must be respected and given time and understanding to work through to the new "normal". The CD spouse must be patient and understand that the change in how he/she feels about themselves does not change the basic sexuality of the wife. 

Thanks for reading's Q&A with Kim Rydick &  her wife

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  1. Thank you Glamour Boutique for helping make our Valentine's Day special this year. Hugs, Alice and Kim

    1. A special day for such a special couple. Thank you to both you and Alice for taking the time to let us in on your beautiful relationship.

  2. Great reveal Kim. Your Alice is such a sweet woman that we all wish our spouse were. Thank you for your honest answers.

  3. I too have an accepting wife ours was also gradual. She now buys me all my clothes and at home I wear all feminine clothes. It is great to be able to be myself even if it is mostly just at home.

    1. That is so great to hear. Thanks for sharing.

  4. My partner is a CD too but won't come out in the open. I love him to death and I am excited buying things for him/her. We love each other so much and I don't really take it against him being a CD. His ultimate wish is to be able to dress out. Thank you for this blog, now I understand him more. We are quite a new couple and I hope we last forever. More power to all of you here

  5. So glad you found this helpful, thank you for sharing.

  6. I started dressing back in high school. One day I just knew I had to wear girls clothes. I loved the changing back and forth between being him and being her. Over time I played with dressing but was always afraid of losing those things and people important to me. Hiding it ultimately worked against 3 marriages. Now I am retired and this woman 24/7 and loving myself and life. I know for a fact that two of my wives never had room for a CD husband. The middle one enjoyed it for a while but eventually moved away into non-acceptance. Kim and another friend of mine, Holly, have what I could have always wanted but never found. It is important to be open and honest in any relationship. Hiding who you are works against that every time. Now I realize that if someone can't embrace the woman I am, they can't fully embrace the person I am. Both sides are part of me.

  7. So happy you were able to find peace with in yourself... that is what it is all about, being happy and feeling complete. One day I am sure you are going to find that person that will accept you fully as who you are! Thanks for sharing.

  8. Kim, how lucky you are. My wife gets very mad seeing that I am wearing lingerie. I told her that I always want to be a woman, but she always put me down. I am still in the closet. I can only enjoy a moment of myself, my true self, when there is no one home.